0:01 – Parental Advisory: I’m guessing this video might be NSFW. I love docs with some bite to them. Daps for getting edgy Foals.
0:08 – It is a cold late night in Mother Russia.
0:19 – Foals is the house band at cabaret bar in Russia. Weird.
0:42 – One would think that if a Russian bar could afford Foals, they would give them a better stage to perform on.
1:12 – Okay, it’s a hotel, not a bar––is that a downgrade? Foals moonlights at as the house band. The music industry really is tanking. Some very steamy somethings are going down between Two Beautiful People directly above Foals. This video is starting to get NSFWorky and I like it. Maybe they can hear Foals below them? This is a rare treat: doing the no-pants-dance with Foals playing in the background. AND they have privacy of a candlelit Russian hotel. Talk about having your cake and eating it too! I want to go to Russia.
1:15 – There it goes. Take me to Russia.
1:23 – Take me home.
1:30 – Hm, who are you Mirror Man, and why are you in this Foals video? Why couldn’t we have just stayed in the first room, Foals?
1:45 – Ok, Drunk Guy is getting a bit our of hand. He is drinking aged scotch and grabbing asses, so he is probably a business man of some sort. Why is Foals even at this bar?
2:00 – The people in the hotel rooms above seem to be connected in some way. Quick montage of Two Beautiful People, Birthing Lady, and Mirror Man was a bit too quick. Something is up.
2:34 – Things are heating up quickly and there is something on Andrew Mears’ mic hand. Is your mic sharp? Why are you still holding it? What’s going on at this hotel, Mears?
2:36 – TBP: Pixel Style
2:45 – Mirror Man is getting a bit too friendly with that belt for my liking.
3:10 – TBP are as stoked as BL isn’t. MM’s name has changed to Autoerotic Asphyxiation Freckle Back (AAFB)
4:15 – So much just happened. I am overloading. TBP are appearing close their climax, but it will come some hefty scars on someone’s back, I have no idea who. BL just gave birth, babies exist on a bell curve of cuteness ending when they can actually make real words. AAFB is about one wrong letter from having to pick a new word and start a new game. Drunk Man from down stairs is no longer welcome at the Foals show, thank god. That was the worst Foals show ever.
4:20 – Bridge. Drunk man falls. What is the status of TBP?
4:24 – Stop playing that damned guitar. You are obviously not okay, and these people hate Foals.
4:34 – Oh, it’s just a nosebleed. Are you adjusting to the climate, or is the snow not the only thing that’s white in Russia? Amiright Mears? Amiright? Seriously though Andrew, that is a lot of blood…
4:42 – That’s why the sex is so good. They are tripping.
4:50 – NO WAY! So, douche bag drunk guy from down stairs is staying with AAFB. Were they lovers? Brothers? Did not see that coming. I think we all knew that AAFB was a goner but who saw that? Nobody.
5:01 – Jesus, Mears, get a grip. You need to see a doctor or something. Maybe get out of Russia?
5:06 – Fade to black.
5:08 – Great job Nabil. It’s not every day you get to make a short documentary about the fundamental aspects of the human experience––sex, birth, death, and loss––then juxtapose that against a musician’s struggle with cocaine addiction. Maybe if you would just ease up on The White Lady you could get out of that house band for a hotel gig and really make something out of yourself, Andrew Mears. Am I right?
David Bowie lives in a big house in California with his actress wife Tilda Swinton. The Bowie-Swintons are not as well off as we might imagine. Their house has a broken window, and they had to let their landscaper go. They’ve even been forced to rent their guesthouse out to aspiring musicians, but David Bowie has rules. Rule #1: Every band must have an androgynous front person. Rule #2: they can only practice playing David Bowie songs while on the premises. Bowie feels emasculated by his current financial dilemma so he neglects to mention the new arrangement to his wife.
Every Wednesday, the Bowies and their creepy neighbors, Saskia and Andrej, go to the store together. This is always a creepy situation because their neighbors are blind and insist on driving their fancy car to the store. The Bowie-Swintons always walk because they don’t trust blind people that drive and because the bank repossessed all their fancy cars to pay off their mortgage. Tilda, ever the optimist, somehow thinks the their life is still “nice.” Bowie reluctantly agrees, but makes a mental note to have is wife exorcised because she is obviously crazy and as such, probably possessed by the devil. David Bowie is notoriously religious.
One night as the Bowie-Swintons casually watch basic cable on their thrift shop TV, one of the bands got confused as to which house they were supposed to practice their David Bowie covers. Tilda finally makes the connection between all of the strange cover bands and their lack of fancy cars. She vows not to have sex with David until he starts making more money, and they don’t have to rent out the guesthouse anymore. David Bowie has rules. Rule #3: David Bowie always gets humped––especially on Wednesdays.
Given that his wife is holding out on him in the sack, Bowie knows that her insanity has reached a tipping point. The devil is inside of Tilda Swinton, and David Bowie is not. He calls the only exorcists he knows––his creepy blind neighbors. The exorcist neighbors come over as the Bowie-Swintons sleep. Confusing David Bowie for Tilda Swinton is excusable for people with full optical faculties, so is not surprising the Andrej the blind exorcist made the same mistake.
The next day David Bowie tells Tilda that he is going out to make compelling new music but actually just wanders around in a pull over. Meanwhile, while Tilda Swinton is interpretative dancing alone, she accidentally changes the channel to David Bowie’s secret surveillance feed. Tilda Swinton is too naïve to believe that Bowie would put the house under surveillance, so she is not surprised to see her creepy blind exorcist neighbors Saskia and Andrej sitting on her couch. Tilda Swinton is completely compliant. Tilda Swinton has the devil inside of her and everybody knows it.
After returning from pretending to make compelling new music, David Bowie discovers his wife doing her exorcism exercises. He also notices Tilda has gotten a hair cut so that she may look even more like David Bowie. This is very pleasing to David, and he demands to be kissed 100 times before they sit down for dinner. Tilda complies but tells him that this the second day of her exorcism so the neighbors will be coming over for the ritual raw poultry feast. Bowie is skeptical, but he loves her new haircut so he rolls with this one.
At the ritual raw poultry feast of the second day of exorcism, things start to get weird. Tilda and the creepy blind exorcist neighbors Saskia and Andrej begin to knife dance. This worries David Bowie because he is afraid Tilda will accidentally cut herself or worse, the blind neighbors. When Tilda asks David to join in her knife dance, David becomes even more terrified. They won’t take no for an answer. That is when David realizes what the neighbors are really after––Saskia and Andrej really just wanted to borrow some clothes from the Bowie-Swintons and watch their thrift shop TV. The Bowie-Swintons oblige and put on their matching announcer suits and help their creepy blind neighbors understand what it’s like to live like normal average everyday celebrities.
“Work” is a portrait of poverty that pulls at the heartstrings. Like Earl Sweatshirt’s “Whoa,” the video depicts the brutal conditions of trailer park life in southern California. Iggy Azalea was born in Australia and planted in Miami at the tender age of 16 with no money, no family, and a nice backside. She is just a young woman trying to fulfill her dream of strolling down the Hollywood Walk of Fame in expensive shoes, but all her friends want to do is light her bike and her old Adidas on fire and booty dance without getting paid for it.
Every time Iggy gets ahead she gets sucked right back in to the vicious cycle of gratis booty dancing and riding bikes around the trailer park. However, this is the story of a young woman triumphing over an imbalanced socioeconomic system. Nothing will keep Iggy Azalea from her dreams.
One day as our young heroine is mid-“workin on her sheeit,” she decides to take matters into her own hands. Iggy steals a patron’s car and drives it all the way to Hollywood. Her previously worthless free booty dancing friends pool their money to help their best friend buy a brand new pair of flattering shorts and expensive shoes. Iggy stalks down the Hollywood Walk of Fame and into the sunset, an example of what hard work and laser focus can accomplish in the face of paralyzing adversity.
This short is about young LA native Earl Sweatshirt and his friend Tyler. Earl lives in trailer with his mom. Mom works in porn but dreams of leaving that life behind to become a ballerina. Earl dreams of a life as a famous rapper that doesn’t have to share a bed/trailer with his mother. The Sweatshirts are descended from wealthy textile magnates that are responsible for the popular garment that bears their name. Now they are so broke that Earl can only afford half a cigarette, one jacket (to help him cope with the California heat) and some socks.
Earl spends his days dancing with his mother and hanging at the communal pool sipping on a cup full of nothing. Earl is the best dancer in the whole trailer park. Tyler spends his days trying to bang Earl’s mom and making Earl drive him around in shopping cart. Tyler is very wealthy and only hangs out with Earl to make himself feel better. Earl loves to golf, but can’t afford to ever go to the driving range. Tyler had a commemorative necklace made to rub his driving range sessions in Earl’s face.
Did you love or hate this? What video do you want me to breakdown for you? Tweet at me.
By Scott Bunze