Trying to be an adult for the first time is bizarre and taxing. Grouchy older folks, Girls critics and New York Times journalists might like to pretend that 20 and early-30-somethings are lazy and spoiled for not always having their shit together, but let’s be real: adulthood is hard! To be fair, every stage of life is hard in its own way, but at least teenagers are allowed to be emotional train-wrecks and blame it on hormones while their parents go off the rails due to their own mid-life crises. But what about those of us in the middle? We need occasional reassurance, and an excuse to act somewhat erratically too! So for anyone who might be struggling with the whole trying-to-be-a-grown-up thing, here’s some cinematic consolation.
1. The Lifeguard. 2013. Directed by Liz W. Garcia.
I expected this film to be a sort of cutesy light-hearted comedy, but I couldn’t have been more wrong; it’s actually pretty dark and very sexual. The characters are all kind of selfish and perverted, but oddly relatable at the same time, and Kristen Bell is great.
2. Reality Bites. 1994. Directed by Ben Stiller.
Reality Bites is like a filmic anthem for post-graduate angst and confusion (and also the 90’s). If you’re in a particularly low point in life — a.k.a. you’re spending your third consecutive day in the same pajamas, chatting with pay-per-minute psychics and chain smoking cigarettes indoors — just think, Lelaina Pierce has been there. And she had a happy ending.
3. Frances Ha. 2013. Directed by Noah Baumbach.
Frances Ha covers just about every scenario that might compel a 20 or 30-something individual to freak out: breakups, fighting with friends/roommates, unemployment, temporary homelessness, doing nonsensical things with money, etc. But Greta Gerwig’s Frances is so spirited and loveable that she makes it seem like being lost at age 27 isn’t all that bad.
4. Before Sunset. 2004. Directed by Richard Linklater.
The middle piece of the Before trilogy shows the lovely duo traversing the streets of Paris while exposing how cynical and unhappy they’ve become in the years they spent apart. It’s incredibly sad to see the youthful magic drain out of people as they grow older, but at least in this case, it’s done by way of beautiful dialogue and perfectly imperfect characters.
5. Party Girl. 1995. Directed by Daisy von Scherler Mayer.
Parker Posey is amazing in everything, but there’s something particularly special about her performance in Party Girl. She’s hilarious and determined with the best clothes despite her financial situation. Also, “I would like a nice, powerful mind-altering substance, preferably one that will make my unborn children grow gills” is the best and only way to ask for drugs, if you’re into that.
6. Half Nelson. 2006. Directed by Ryan Fleck.
Here, Ryan Gosling plays a young inner-city school teacher who spends his free time dealing with failed relationships and his crack addiction. It’s sad and real, and despite the, uhh, illegality of his recreational activities, you can totally feel for him as he tries to get his life together and become a good role model for his students.
7. The Graduate. 1967. Directed by Mike Nichols.
No explanation necessary.