The final season of Breaking Bad, the greatest TV drama ever written, premieres this Sunday, August 11th. We here at Alt Citizen just can’t wait to find out [SPOILER ALERT] what Hank is going to do after his revelation on the crapper during the Season 5 midseason finale. What will happen to Walter White now that the his DEA agent brother-in-law knows he’s Heisenberg? Will they find that storage unit full of drug money? Will Walter Jr. find out about his dad’s illicit side business? How will he react?
With that last question in mind, a few of us thought about how we would react if we found out our dads were maniacal, amoral, and brilliant meth manufacturers like Walter White. Read some of our reactions after the jump.
“If Walter White was my dad, I would honestly try to milk him of as much money as possible before he inevitably would get caught. Maybe there should be a line about me in ‘Gold Digger?’ My overwhelming need to make my dad proud would eventually get in the way, and I would join the business somehow. Maybe I would end up making out with Jesse? Yes, definitely make out with Jesse. ” – Alex Martinez (@Alex_Chillton)
“My dad has always been a man of routine, one that centers–almost too simply–on getting up and going to work, which is located in Brooklyn about 45 minutes north of us in Jersey. He often doesn’t get back till past seven, but that’s because he is at home in his work, keeping busy in a way that produces consistent results for his company and eliminates the urge to dwell on his own personal problems. The sheer number of vacation days he receives each year and doesn’t use––which ultimately expire––would boggle your mind, or make you cringe, or both. Couple all of that with the fact that he understands – happily embraces, even – the immense responsibility of providing for a family, and I could (practically) see my dad as Walter White.
Like Walt, and for better or worse, my dad has always been more like a buddy than a traditional parent. That in mind, what would bother me most about one day finding out he is not an accountant for a healthcare company but actually a hardened, expert meth cook / drug dealer would be the violence. My dad has never showed an inclination toward aggression, in any regard, and to find him coming home beaten and bruised, or to infer he has recently hurt or killed someone, would be shocking. Somehow, in my mind, my dad getting punched in the face and carrying around guns and improvised science grenades for his protection is more upsetting and terrifying than the fact that he produces highly illegal, highly addictive, death-and-suffering inducing drugs. There’s probably something really wrong in all of that!” – Justin Davis (@yeahjustindavis)
“Sounds like it’d be useful leverage. I could pull out that trump card any time he got on my case over my liberal politics:
“Entitlement programs? Let’s think about the true meaning of enabling others for a second.”
“Illegals? You’re illegal!”
“Like you even pay taxes!”
“Wanna know what else is a slippery slope? Gateway ego trips.” ”
– Steph Koyfman (@stephkoyfman)
“What? WHAT? Um, I would like to get my PhD in screenwriting and art history, please. And I would like your life rights so that I can make a movie about you when you die and/or go to jail. If I don’t get into the school of my choice TBD, can you just get all Heisenberg on the admissions director? Thanks, Dad! LOVE YOU.
Also, just to make sure you’re not completely evil, would you consider donating some of that money to a charity of your choice? Or giving it to a university and having an entire chemistry department or building named after you? Something to think about, Pops. Just saying.” – Rebecca An (@MsRebeccaAn)
How about you? How would you react? Leave your reactions in the comments below! Be sure to catch the final eight episodes of this groundbreaking show Sunday nights at 10pm on AMC.